Make You Like Me (Part 4): Study Guide

By in Messages, Resources

Bottom Line

My demand to make you like me becomes my prayer to make me like you. 

Study Verses

1 John 4:11-12, 1 Peter 4:8, James 5:20

Key Points

  • When love is misused and misunderstood, love becomes conditional and concessionary.
  • Every deficiency we have will be demanded from others, unless we know God.
  • Only love can bear the weight of confession and forgiveness.
  • Love breathes life into the very thing that brings death. 
  • Love connects and restores things that are pulled apart and decaying under the power of separation.
  • Detachment is more than being disconnected. It causes us to be demanding.
  • Validation makes my worth dependent on my performance. My demand becomes affirmation.
  • Isolation makes my worth dependent on my self-worth. My demand becomes punishment.
  • Being co-dependent makes my worth dependent on other’s opinions. My demand becomes the need to be needed.


  • How does one know whether they’ve placed demands on their relationships? What are some warning signs that should alert someone that this has taken place? 
  • What fears do people have in extending love and grace to others (get taken advantage of, love not returned, excuse people’s behavior, etc.)? 
  • How are our relationships influenced when we feel deficient? 
  • What happens to love when it is misused and misunderstood? In what ways does it become conditional and concessionary? 


  • Read 1 John 4:11-12. What do people see when they witness redemptive love taking place in human relationships? 
  • Read 1 Peter 4:8 and James 5:20. How does love cover a multitude of sins? How does one love another person without condoning or excusing bad behavior?


  • What demands do you have to let go of in your relationships? 
  • How can love breathe life into a relationship of yours that’s been dead for awhile? What would it look like for love to reconnect and restore this connection? 
  • Over the course of this series, how has your perspective on your connections with others been influenced? What was the greatest insight you had and how are you going to put this truth into practice?

Download Leader Guide Download Participant Guide Watch Message