What Matters Part 4: Study Guide

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Bottom Line

Always consider others.

Study Verses

Ephesians 4:14-16, Philippians 2:1-11, Galatians 6:1-10

Key Points

  • Connection is to be safely within the care and trust of the body.
  • People need a safe place to process their faith.
  • It’s easy to believe we love everyone when we are living alone.
  • When we’re under pressure we’re more likely to use people to get what we want.
  • The people in the seats are more important than the issues on the table. 
  • Love is allowing people to belong and helping them to become. 
  • People want to be great and for their life to count. 
  • People aren’t dumb. People are proud and proud people do dumb things. 
  • Everyone wants you to think like they do. 
  • Everybody is crazy so quit wasting time and energy pretending you have it altogether. 
  • Consider their perspective and story. Consider what they want. Consider what they need.


“We probably have wondered in our many lonesome moments if there is one corner in this competitive, demanding world where it is safe…It might be very small and hidden.  But if this corner exists, it calls for a search through the complexities of our human relationships to find it.” -Henri Nouwen

  • Read the quote from Henri Nouwen. How have you experienced this desperate search for connection? Why is our tendency to compete rather than connect with others?
  • What is the purpose of a relationship? What makes you answer in the way that you do? How does one arrange their life to live out the value of relationships?
  • Self-preservation prevents authentic relationships from taking root in our lives. Over the years how have you engaged in self-preservation?
  • Can you think of a time when God used someone to speak truth in love to get your attention and help form your character?


  • Read Ephesians 4:14-16. When it comes to speaking the truth in love, which part do you tend to emphasize: (1) love without truth or (2) truth without love? Why do you believe this is your natural inclination?
  • Read Philippians 2:1-11. What does it mean to “look out for the interest of others”? What are some of the interests of others that we should pay attention to? What role should humility play in our relationships?
  • Read Galatians 6:1-10. How does one “carry their own load” while also allowing others to “carry each other’s burdens”? What is required of both parties  in order to make this happen?


  • Where are you competing with others rather than connecting with them? What drives this competition? Where do you need to display humility?
  • Always consider others. Think of a relationship where there is conflict or disagreement. How can you begin to consider the other person’s perspective? What part of their story are you missing?
  • Is there someone in your life you need to speak the truth in love to? How can you begin to engage in conversations with this individual? How can you test your motives for speaking these words?
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